Hello, I'm


Freelance Mortician

Swipe six feet under


Born just outside New York, I’ve been dead-set on working in the mortuary sciences since birth. A natural tinkerer, I began burial services for live cats at age 9. For years, I’ve killed the competition with my skills in corpse Embalming and preparation.

After taking a short sabbatical building a tarantula farm on my family’s estate, I’ve returned to my passion for the deceased as a freelancer. Past examples of my event management and cremation work include the play production of the original Thanksgiving at Camp Chippewa.

enamel pin
  with the text 'dying to be of service' and image of casket colored gold on
  silver metal


Allow me to bury your grave concerns about the following:

  • Embalming
  • Cremation
  • Caskets, Vaults, Urns
  • Preparation (Hair, makeup, clothing)
  • Wake event management
  • Privacy family space
  • Livery
  • Burial
  • Anatomical gifts
  • Scientific donations
  • Corpse revival (extra cost)
enamel pin of
  a skeleton hand pointing upwards and text that reads 'i can lend a hand'
  colored black and set in gold metal


The mortuary sciences are a dying art.

Consider purchasing one of these grotesque pins to adorn your corpse or yourself.

Shop on etsy.


If you are actually interested in mortuary services, please look elsewhere. Also, my sincerest condolences.

This website is a satirical take on the personal branding we do to market ourselves, from logos to Tweets to websites. And now here I am explaining the joke. Kill me.

Speaking of irony, check out the blog post involving this design project on my website.

Need a contract designer?

Email me.